Why Relationship Repair Matters And How To Do It Well
In any relationship, it is never the honeymoon period for long. Every connection faces struggles, power dynamics, and difficulties from time to time.
What can you do to keep disagreements and bumps in your relationship road from doing too much damage and negatively impacting what you’ve created together? Whether you are dealing with a partner, friend, or family member, the aim is to actively repair your relationship as a means of productively moving forward.
What Is Repair in A Relationship?
If there has been some sort of conflict, some harm has occurred, or the communication connection has been broken, then a repair needs to take place. Relationship repair involves actions and statements, used to recognize and diffuse negativity and prevent it from getting out of control or beyond repair.
Why Is Relationship Repair So Important?
Addressing disconnect in this way is so essential because it demonstrates that each person in the relationship is willing to prioritize the connection. Repair acknowledges that the person and relationship are valued above the relationship problem.
Relationship repair is also important because it shows the other person that the bond that you have is strong and can withstand the good times and the bad times. Efforts to repair send the message to your relationship partner that your relationship will have problems, but that you will work to ensure that the connection overcomes them.
Tips To Effectively Repair Your Relationship
In order to effectively repair your relationship, willingly lean into your partner and their concerns. Tap into compassion and self-control as much as possible so that you can tackle issues together.
Practice Your Best Communication Skills
To repair your relationship, you will need to use good communication skills. This not only means being able to articulate your thoughts and feelings but willingly hearing your partner’s point of view too. Go slow and discuss things calmly, particularly if the issue is a touchy subject.
Embrace Your Differences
It’s completely natural to have differences of opinion. No healthy couple ‘never argues.’ No matter what your friends and other couples tell you, disagreements happen. Sometimes you just won’t see eye to eye or come to a resolution. In these cases, it’s okay to honor your relationship by honoring your right to agree to disagree. It may be better to move on from the argument, and let it go if core values are not being compromised. Embrace the fact that you are different from one another with different opinions. You don’t have to let it ruin what you have.
Begin Resolutions Calmly & Softly
To start resolving the matter and repair the relationship, do so in a calm and soft manner. This is sometimes called a “soft start-up”. It is often the most effective way to defuse tensions and resolve conflict respectfully. If you start by attacking your spouse or raising your voice, then you’ll only generate more tension and rupture the relationship further.
Engage with an Open With A Neutral Stance
It’s also essential that you try to keep a neutral stance, rather than be on the opposing side to your partner. Don’t forget that you are a team. Start to resolve and repair conflicts by sharing the following before explaining your feelings and stance on the situation.:
I understand how you feel entirely…
I would feel the same in your situation…
I love you, and I want to make things work with you…
Avoid Being Defensive
Being defensive is a sure-fire way to escalate the situation and not reach a resolution. Try to slow your reactive thoughts and focus on your loved one’s point of view. Intentionally tune in and empathize with them.
Take A Time Out
In some cases, it is better to take a time out and breathe. This can help you clear your mind, come to a conclusion regarding your feelings, or find a resolution to you and your partner’s problem. This can also defuse any angry or negative feelings. A break gives you time to calm down, before discussing the matter at a different time.
Finally…
To summarize, relationship repair is so important if you want to build a stronger bond and relationship that lasts. Everyone will argue and disagree from time to time. Relationship repair, done well, can rebuild your connection and make it stronger. If you’re ready to learn more about the benefits of relationship therapy, please contact us soon.
