Parenting in the Digital Age
I value social media for a variety of reasons. It lets me stay connected to friends and their families. I can join parenting groups. And, I can follow parenting experts and influencers who align with my values as a parent. Not only as a therapist, but as a human, I love to learn. It gives me the opportunity to learn more about topics that views that aren’t mainstream. Social media gives me the chance to open my mind and soul to new ideas that I never really thought of.
And, yet, there are dark sides of social media. I was recently talking with a friend and had mentioned that it feels impossible to know that you are doing the right thing. Especially when, at any given time, there is a parenting expert or coach out there saying you should be doing the opposite. So while the information that is at our fingertips can be useful, it can also be really damaging. With so much out there, it basically just allows you confirm or doubt any belief that you may have.
Connected But Still Alone
We are all connected through technology, but we really aren’t feeling a sense of community anymore. The pandemic made us feel even less connected. It was easier to parent when you felt as if you were part of a community. Now, many people don’t have the same support even from family as they did prior to the pandemic.
For those reasons and more, a lot of us do turn to the internet to research parenting-related topics. There are so many great resources available. How to engage a picky eater, how to deal with tantrums, acknowledging your children’s emotions. Help for parents with neurodivergent children. The list is endless.
And like so many other things in life, there are varying and alternate viewpoints for every piece of advice given. That doesn’t mean that one is more right than the other.
When You Are Pulled In Different Directions, Where Can You Go?
Where does all of this leave parents?
Ultimately, this is one of the parts of parenting that calls for inner awareness and growth. To become conscious of who we are and what we believe in. Acknowledging what connects with your intuition and your values.
And finally, but perhaps most importantly, what works best for your child. Not what others have tried, but what is going to help and support your child the most. The things that are going to help them thrive and blossom into the person they are meant to be — not what the internet expects them to be.
Starting With Yourself
When you feel pulled into so many directions, it can be hard to know what to do. What’s the best choice here? What will benefit my child and our lives the most?
It’s okay to rely on parenting advice from other people. But don’t let this be your only source of information. Trust in yourself. Learn how to self-regulate your own emotions.
A lot of parents find it helpful to read parenting books together or listen to audiobooks. Others find that taking online or live courses is more beneficial to them. Connecting with fellow parents and friends and chatting about the parenting experience can also help you feel not so alone in the struggles you are facing.
While others will find that working with a parenting coach or counselor is their best option. Therapy is a great place to explore what is coming up for you in parenting and where you are getting stuck. It can help you learn the self-regulation skills as well as acknowledging your own inner child wounds and trauma that shaped you as a person.
With your partner, you can not only explore the values you have as a couple, but the values you hold as a family. Working with a counselor for couples therapy can help you be more confident in your parenting. Reach out to us today to get started.
