How to Find Yourself Through IFS Therapy
IFS, or Internal Family Systems, is a specific type of psychotherapy therapists use. At first glance, it can seem complex if you are unfamiliar with it. Essentially, IFS theorizes that there are many subpersonalities to every single human being— the wounded and the protective parts. Our wounded parts affect emotions. They can make you feel ashamed, depressed, or even angry. On the other hand, the protective parts try to protect you from those damaging emotions.
Unfortunately, the wounded and protective parts are often in constant conflict with one another, causing our inner nervous systems to be overwhelmed. Within each of these parts are “families” inside you—Exiles, Managers, and Firefighters. The Exiles are the suppressed emotions, thoughts, and parts of your mind that have been hurt. The Managers are the ones inside you who try to suppress thoughts and feelings. The Firefighters, then, help protect your sense of worth when the exiled parts end up coming out.
IFS therapy aims to balance these parts so that the core of who you are can exist with peace. Here is how you can find yourself through IFS Therapy.
Goal #1: Freeing Each “Family”
The first goal is the beginning step to truly begin healing. The Exiles, Managers, and Firefighters all tend to operate in extremes, causing imbalance. The imbalances between these three areas of our lives ultimately cause us to feel so lousy at times because they constantly conflict with one another. So the first step to finding yourself is to free each of these sub-personalities. This is done by focusing on the parts of yourself that are causing you the most harm.
Goal #2: Finding Trust In Yourself
The second part of IFS Therapy is learning to trust yourself again. We often talk about trusting other people, but a lot of people forget about the most important type of trust—the one we have in ourselves. When the “families” above are left to run rampant, they ultimately cause people to distrust who they are. After many hurts or trauma, your sense of identity may constantly be in question with yourself. After each of the sub-parts is brought into balance, this is when true healing begins.
Goal #3: Letting The Families Work Together Again
When the parts of yourself are under control and in harmony, the greatest part of IFS therapy begins—finding out who you are. When everything is so out of whack, it ends up causing a lot of conflicting emotions and turmoil inside of ourselves. With everything in balance, you can find out who you truly are without all of the conflict boiling up. This will then help strengthen the sense of awareness of who you are and how strong and powerful you truly can be when you are no longer fighting yourself.
We All Have Feuding Parts Of Ourselves, But It Doesn’t Have To Stay This Way
The important thing to remember when learning about IFS Therapy and the families is that we all have them. Every single one of us has inner parts of who we are that conflict and battle it out. But even though this is natural, it doesn’t have to remain like this.
By bringing these parts into balance, we can not only learn about who we are, but healing from trauma or keeping anxiety at bay will be easier. IFS Therapy is a great way to learn to keep these parts in check, so they are no longer in control of you. If this speaks to you, please contact me for a free 20 minute consultation so I can help you learn if this is the right type of therapy for you.
