5 Ways to Communicate With Your Partner When You’re Angry
It’s happening again. You are in another fight with your significant other. Tensions are high, you are both frustrated, and nothing seems to be resolving on its own.
Familiar? For many couples, this is how conflict starts. And continues. It’s a cycle that is hard to break when you are angry with one another. Feeling angry when things are already tense does not help the situation at all. It can escalate until you are both ready to lose it. It doesn’t have to stay this way.
While being angry during conflict can be expected, there are definitely ways you can counteract this. Here are 5 tips on learning to communicate with your partner when you are angry.
5 Ways to Communicate With Your Partner When You’re Angry
1. Think Before You Speak
This is easier said than done, I know. We all do it, whether we are angry with our partner, children, friends, or family members. But, how often do you find that when you are angry, you just blurt out whatever comes to mind? Don’t worry; this is totally normal.
The first step to learning to communicate when angry is to think before speaking. Is what you are about to say going just to hurt your partner’s feelings? If you say what you want to, will it aid in conflict resolution or inhibit it? Before you say something, take a moment to pause and think about those things. If you aren’t sure, it’s probably best to keep it to yourself.
2. Don’t Bring Up Things Not Relevant To The Conversation
Everyone is guilty of this. You are in the middle of arguing about one thing, and the subject turns around to something else. Before you know it, you aren’t even sure what exactly you are arguing over—just that it is basically everything at this point.
When we are angry, we become extremely frustrated over other issues that may not be resolved. The things from the past that made you angry are popping up again because they were never truly resolved. Keep the conversation relevant to what you are feeling angry over that started the fight. Bringing up the past at this moment will not get either of you anywhere.
3. Avoid Screaming Matches
Becoming angry sometimes means that we end up raising our voices, shouting at one another as if the other person can’t hear us. We say things louder in hopes that it will make them understand us. Speaking louder very rarely, almost never, gets the point across any better. It also just leads to more screaming. And more angry words get thrown around uncontrollably. It’s challenging, but try to talk to one another in calm voices. You can still express your frustrations to each other, but you don’t have to do it in a way that leaves your voices hoarse and raspy.
4. Remember Your Love For Each Other
This is your partner. The person you fell hard for—who, in good times, is your whole world. But when you are angry at one another, you may forget these things. You may even forget what you are fighting for—keeping the relationship healthy and thriving. Remember that this is just a fight. It doesn’t mean that your relationship is over. At this moment, tensions are so high that you lose sight of that.
5. Find Healthier Ways To Resolve Conflict
Anger never solves anything. It only ends up making things worse. If you find yourselves arguing constantly or becoming angry with one another quickly, it is a sign of a communication breakdown in the relationship.
Couples counseling can help you resolve past conflicts and learn to communicate with one another better. Reach out to me to learn more about how I can help your relationship be healthy again.
