How Does IFS Work?

Researching what IFS is can feel like a complete mystery for many people. While internal family systems (IFS) can be confusing, once you understand the basics of how it works, you’ll realize how transformative it is.

Humans are complex beings. We are made up of so many different factors that play into who we are as a person. We are the sum of our genetics, upbringing, life experiences, relationships, personalities, and so much more. With that said, it stands to reason that our mental health is just as complex.

Maybe you have been struggling for a while and don’t understand why. Or, maybe you went through something traumatic and have never fully healed from that experience. While IFS is just as complex as we are, it may be the missing piece to discovering true healing and self-discovery.

What Is IFS?

We’ve covered IFS therapy in our blog and website, but let’s review the basics.

The foundation of IFS is based on the idea that each person is comprised of three different parts — managers, firefighters, and exiles. None of these parts is bad or solely good. When the three parts exist harmoniously, we often feel balanced, calm, and equipped to manage stress well.

However, when these parts are at war with each other, so to speak, it often causes us to feel at war with ourselves. Within this battlefield, we will find issues such as anxiety, depression, trauma, and an overall decline in mental health. This decline in mental health, in turn, can cause our physical well-being to decline.

What Are The Parts Of IFS?

Managers are exactly what they sound like. They try to manage situations and stress by being proactive and helping us avoid pain or hurt. While that may be good, it does have a downside: It often leads to avoidance behaviors. Additionally, it can cause someone to miss out on opportunities and leads to perfectionism.

Firefighters have a similar role to that of a manager. The difference is that firefighters will try to reduce strain and stress by squashing negative feelings and thoughts. While that may seem good, in the end, all that does is repress the negative things someone deals with. It’s meant to help someone not think about the pain, but all it does is cause this pain to boil underneath the surface. In turn, this can lead to unhealthy coping mechanisms developing.

Exiles are the parts of ourselves that the fighters and managers try to make us avoid. They are the parts of ourselves that stay hidden and out of sight but not out of mind. Exiles are comprised of our negative thoughts, feelings, and past traumatic experiences.

How Does IFS Therapy Work?

One of the IFS’s main goals is to harmonize these three parts.

The first step of IFS therapy is for the therapist to give you a fuller picture of the parts impacting you the most. By fostering this understanding, you will better understand what keeps you stuck and unable to heal or move forward.

Fully healing involves reconnecting what is referred to as the C’s and P’s of IFS therapy.

The eight C’s associated with IFS are calmness, creativity, courage, connection, confidence, compassion, and clarity.

The five P’s of IFS therapy are perspective, presence, playfulness, patience, and persistence.

Reconnecting all of these different areas while getting to the root of what parts are at war with one another will help you find balance and peace.

If you are interested in learning more about IFS therapy, don’t hesitate to reach out to me to learn more or ask any questions that you may have.