Here’s Why You Shouldn’t Compare Your Relationship To What You See in TV and Movies
It’s all too easy to look at other couples and see something you want or wish you had. Whether it’s a closer connection, more intimacy or more romantic gestures.
Often, we watch movies like romantic comedies and dream of being swept off our feet or have partners swooning at the mere sight of us. But it’s not often that this happens in real life. So, why do we compare our relationships and why shouldn’t we?
Why Do We Compare Our Relationships?
You may find yourself looking at other couples or speaking to friends and family about your relationship from time to time. You may also speak to them about concerns to see what they say and how they gauge these issues.
So, why do we compare our relationships with others? Well, a simple answer is that social comparisons help us understand ourselves better and help us comprehend our relationships. This can help us make sense of the delicate matters in our relationship and see what others deem ‘right’, important and normal.
We also compare our relationships to others because we care about what other people think, or because we see something in another relationship that we want or desire. It’s vital to remember that no two relationships will ever be the same.
Why You Shouldn’t Compare Your Relationships to TV and Movies
The media we consume often shapes and warps our view of the world. What we see can often feel reflected in our day-to-day lives, or can give us unrealistic expectations. We’ve all been there before. We’ve scrolled through social media, or watched new TV shows where the women all wake up with full faces of makeup and gloriously long eyelashes. The men have washboard abs and rugged looks. It’s not the reality of the life we know.
Recent studies show that the influence of Hollywood films and television implant the idea that relationships should be ‘perfect’ or they are not the right person for you. They offer unrealistic expectations of what romance is and what a ‘good’ relationship should look like.
In movies, everything is exaggerated and sped up. Relationships can go from 0 to 100 really fast, and become way more intense than a real life relationship would normally be. A recent study also showed that those who were exposed to more romantic movies had the mentality that ‘love would find a way’ and those who watched TV shows about marriage were more likely to believe that ‘true love’ and ‘love at first sight’ was real.
Ways Love is Different From Media Portrayals
Here are some things to keep in mind to keep yourself grounded and forget about the relationship expectations that movies and television provide us with.
Movies are unrealistic. Not everyone falls in love from a first glance or holds a candle to their first love from twenty years ago.
Real love is all about give and take. It’s not always one person doing the chasing with grand gestures of love and affection.
Movies are idealized versions of people and their stories. Real life is messy. We deal with work stress, family stress, the loss of loved ones. It’s not all sunshine and rainbows. People make mistakes, people have bad habits and you have to really put the effort in to make a relationship work.
The idea that if you love someone enough, you’ll get through anything is not realistic. For many people, the struggles of modern life can cause a real impact on our relationships.
It’s important to remember that the people, circumstances and relationships that we see in the movies and on television are fictional and not realistic. We cannot allow ourselves to compare our relationships with those on TV.
If you are concerned about your relationship and want to seek advice or validation, then it is far more beneficial to speak to a counselor, therapist, or marriage counselor for guidance. Please reach out to schedule a free consultation today. Couples counseling can help to build love and foster real life intimacy
