Bonding With Baby: Dad Edition
The “fourth trimester” is the three month period following the birth of a baby. During this time, there is a great emphasis (and rightly so) on the mom. How can be supported to rest, bond, and develop a healthy relationship with the baby? How can this new time be made easier for both mom and baby?
During this time, fathers are often viewed as the protector of this relationship. Fathers shoulder the responsibility of preparing meals, doing laundry, and changing diapers, helping his partner out with whatever she may need during this transitionary time.
But, what about building that special and intimate bond between Dad and baby?
Nurturing A Bond Between Baby And Dad
The relationship between the father and baby is often overshadowed. Not out of spite or malice, but just because it seems secondary to that of the mother. However, fathers also play a crucial and just as important role in a baby’s life. Especially during those first few months after the birth.
But how can the father ensure that he is also creating a bond between himself and the baby?
1. Skin to skin contact
We know how important it is for the baby to feel the mother’s touch. After all, the baby had constant contact inside the mothers womb as it developed.
It is just as important for the baby to establish that touch bond with the father. During the first few weeks, the father should make sure that he is also holding, cuddling, and being in close proximity to the newborn. It helps to start forming that connection and love between the two.
A great way for a father to connect with his newborn outside of changing diapers is to be in charge of bath time. It is a soothing, fun, and caring ritual that fathers can take ownership of early on and creates a structured way to bond. It will also help to give the mom some much needed down time where she can just relax and do some TLC just for herself.
2. Recognizing The Unique Bond Each Will Have
It is important for both parents to realize that the bond they have with their child will be different from one another. And there’s nothing wrong with that, at all!
Each parent will connect with their child, now, and in the future, in completely different ways. This is important for the father because he will know that there is no competition between the two. Both parents will be allowed to be imperfect, inexperienced, and intuitive about the baby’s needs in their own way.
3. Do Activities With The Newborn
Another great way to foster the bond between dad and newborn is for him to carve out some time each day for each other. Whether that is through reading them a story or playing with them—it will be a great way to strengthen the bonds.
With so much emphasis on how moms can support their newborn, how the dad can do that is often overshadowed. It’s expected that the mom will do these things, but the dad should as well.
4. Know That It Takes Time
When trying to nurture the bond between baby and dad, it’s important to know that it might take time. That’s not to say it couldn’t be instant, but some new fathers may feel jealous because of the instant bond between mother and baby.
For the father, it’s important to remember that the newborn was attached to the mother in every possible way from the time of conception. But, you can still have just as strong of a relationship with your child.
If you are struggling with being a new parent or other issues, contact me, I am ready to support you on this new and exciting journey through life transitions counseling.
