4 Ways to Improve Communication with Your Partner
You hear it all the time.
Communication in a relationship is important!
Communication is the foundation of a successful relationship.
Many people in relationships understand this entirely; it makes sense that your relationship may suffer and struggle without good communication. However common this knowledge may be, that doesn’t mean communicating is easy.
Communication is a never-ending effort, even for couples who have been together for years. While it may always take effort, there are some common ways to strengthen your communication game in your relationship. This will allow you to navigate life challenges together, strengthen your bond, and feel fulfilled by your relationship.
4 Ways To Build Communication Skills With Your Partner
1. Listen to Each Other
Developing good listening skills is one of the strongest communication skills you can learn for any relationship. Yes, you may hear what your partner is saying by listening to their voice. However, are you truly hearing what they are trying to convey?
Humans, naturally, listen not to hear someone but to respond with their own opinions or thoughts. Your opinion is important, but that doesn’t mean your partner’s isn’t. Actively listening means that you are focused only on the present moment. You are not only hearing your partner talk, but you are listening to understand their viewpoint.
Show each other that you are actively listening, maintain eye contact, and avoid interrupting them while they speak. Give them the space to say what they need to.
2. Validate Each Other’s Feelings
Admittedly, putting yourself in someone else’s shoes can be hard. You listen to your partner describe how they feel; sometimes, it doesn’t make sense to you. When this happens, it’s common to invalidate their feelings by saying something like, “I don’t make you feel that way” or “You shouldn’t feel that way.”
Regardless of our perception of the situation, you can’t tell someone how they should or shouldn’t feel. You may disagree with what the other person is saying, but their feelings and thoughts shouldn’t be brushed aside.
3. Walk Away When You Need To
It’s inevitable that, at some point, you may end up in an argument with your partner. You can’t help but feel frustrated with them, and they return the same vibe. No matter what you say to each other, the conversation isn’t progressing.
This is the turning point of the conversation. Many couples choose to try and continue to resolve things, even if it’s taking them in one giant circle. From here, this will likely turn into words being said out of anger and things becoming heated and tense.
Many couples don’t realize that walking away is the other option. Sometimes, a conversation just can’t be resolved immediately, which is okay. It is better to walk away from the conversation and give each other space to think than it is to continue to try and argue it out.
Agree to drop the conversation and give each other space. But before you walk away, agree to a time and place where you will pick it back up. Maybe that’s in a few hours or even the next day, but don’t drop the conversation and never pick it up again. While that may seem tempting, all that results in is unresolved conflict. Inevitably, it will creep up again in another argument.
4. Counseling
It’s uncomfortable talking about your problems with an outside source. You’ll likely vent to your friends, and your partner will to theirs. In these cases, you’ll likely receive advice and support from them, which is fine, except they only hear your side of the story, not both.
In couples counseling, the therapist’s office is a safe and non-judgemental zone for you to come as a couple. Here, you can explore your issues and receive constructive feedback from those listening to both sides.
If you are ready to learn more communication skills or get to the root of your conflict, don’t hesitate to reach out to learn more about couples therapy.
