Life After Divorce: How to Get Back Into Dating
It’s hard to process something when the unfathomable happens. For whatever reason, your marriage is over. Now, in the post-divorce phase, you may be feeling many emotions. Confused, sad, and maybe even relieved. Since the shock of everything has worn off, you are likely settling into a new routine as you start this next chapter of your life. They do say every ending comes with a new beginning. One question might have started lingering in your mind. What about dating?
For many people, dating can feel completely overwhelming. Not only are you trying to determine if it’s too soon. But how will you tell your children you’re moving on in this way? When is an appropriate time to talk about your past with a new person? Here is some guidance on how to handle this new chapter.
Getting Back Into Dating After Divorce
Go at your own pace
Remember to go at your own pace, no matter the time frame. Maybe it’s been under a year since your divorce was finalized. Or maybe it’s been longer than that. If you feel it’s not too soon, that’s the right move for you. Alternatively, if you feel like you aren’t quite ready, that’s up to you too. The point we’re trying to make is to ignore the outside sources who try to tell you one way or another.
Start slow
We don’t just mean with the physical stuff. If you feel a little gun-shy after your divorce, you shouldn’t feel like you need to rush into anything. Start off as just friends and see where things progress from there. If this new person is supposed to be in your life, then they will certainly understand.
Try not to be held back by the past
A divorce can leave a bitter taste in your mouth about dating. Maybe you feel apprehensive because your previous marriage ended after an affair. Or maybe you just grew apart, and you’re terrified of that happening again. The past may shape the future, but that doesn’t mean it’s destined to repeat itself. Any new person you meet with the prospect of dating does not mean they will be like your ex. Try to look at your new dating perspectives as just that—new.
Be sure to heal, first
When you start to think about dating again, it’s important to ensure you have healed enough. Without healing and proper closure, you can unintentionally sabotage any new relationship before it ever begins.
Rediscover who you are, too
Divorce has a way of changing people in good ways and bad. Maybe you slowly lost yourself when things started going bad in the marriage. Or maybe you realized that you don’t really know who you are in the aftermath. Either way, it’s a great way to rediscover who you are. Now is the perfect time to start fresh. If you don’t like who you became recently, there is always time to change that. Life is just a constant learning lesson and will always give opportunities to let you improve. The past may have changed you, but you can take control back and make that to be a good thing.
Relationship counseling
In the aftermath of a divorce, it can be hard to know what to do next, especially when it comes to dating again. If you struggle to know the right answer, you don’t have to rush into a decision immediately. Take your time; when the timing is right, you’ll know and be ready. Don’t hesitate to reach out to learn more about relationship counseling and how it can help you, not only in romantic relationships but platonic ones as well.
