Infidelity: Prevalence, Causes & Ramifications
Cheating is more common than you might think. Studies show that roughly 30-60% of all married individuals will be unfaithful at some point. Surveys indicate that anywhere from 20-25% of married men and 10-15% of married women admit to having an extramarital affair. However, given the topic’s sensitive nature, these numbers are likely on the lower end of the spectrum. So, the question is, why do people cheat?
Why Do People Cheat? The Main Causes and Risk Factors for Infidelity
Many factors contribute to the prevalence of infidelity. Our biology predisposes us to seek out multiple partners, we have greater opportunities to cheat thanks to social media and dating apps, and modern society is more permissive of infidelity. Relationship issues like boredom, lack of intimacy, and resentment motivate some to stray.
Lack of intimacy or excitement – If someone feels intimacy or passion is missing in their relationship, they may seek it elsewhere. An affair can seem exciting and help fill that void.
Low self-esteem – Some people cheat to get validation and boost their confidence. The thrill of the chase and conquest can make them feel desirable.
Unmet needs – Whether emotional, physical, or mental, if someone’s partner doesn’t meet their needs, they may seek fulfillment outside the relationship.
Opportunity – Simple opportunity and temptation play a role. Spending lots of time apart, frequent travel, or working closely with an attractive colleague can increase the chance of an affair.
Revenge or anger – In some cases, cheating is a way to get back at a partner or retaliate for being hurt or betrayed.
Alcohol or drugs – Impaired judgment and lowered inhibitions from substance use contribute to infidelity for some. Although not an excuse, intoxication can influence risky decision-making.
Lack of commitment – If someone isn’t fully committed to their partner or the relationship, they’re more prone to cheating when temptation arises. They may not value fidelity or consider how their actions could hurt their partner.
The reasons for cheating are complex and varied. Often, they involve a combination of factors, not just one cause. The bottom line is that there are always alternatives to being unfaithful.
The Impact of Infidelity: Consequences for Relationships, Families, and Mental Health
Infidelity has serious consequences that can shake up families and relationships. Trust and intimacy are the foundations of a healthy relationship but are fractured by infidelity. Betrayed partners frequently report damage to their self-esteem, feelings of sadness, and anger toward their partner as well as the affair partner.
Infidelity is one of the leading causes of divorce and relationship breakups. Discovering a partner’s affair often makes the betrayed spouse question the entire relationship and whether it’s salvageable. The unfaithful partner may also see ending the relationship as an “easy” way out of dealing with the consequences of their actions.
Children are also affected. Children whose parents have experienced infidelity may feel confused, angry, and insecure. They tend to have more behavioral and emotional problems. The uncertainty surrounding their parents’ relationship and a potential family breakup greatly affects children.
Partners dealing with the aftermath of infidelity frequently report symptoms of depression, anxiety, and post-traumatic stress disorder. The constant painful emotions and obsessive thoughts associated with the discovery of an affair can continue for months and even years. Betrayed spouses, in particular, note impaired self-esteem, feelings of inadequacy, and difficulty trusting others.
The fallout from infidelity creates deep wounds that require commitment, honesty, and time to heal. But the scars may remain, serving as a permanent reminder of the fragility of trust and the importance of fidelity.
While the statistics on cheating can be disheartening, infidelity does not have to spell the end of a relationship. With work and commitment to honesty and professional couples counseling, some couples can move past infidelity. Reach out today if you need help navigating this period.
