How to Cope with an Unplanned Pregnancy
Finding out you’re pregnant can be a complicated experience. If you were trying for a baby, you’d feel mostly thrilled and prepared. But when your pregnancy is unplanned, you’re probably feeling a whirlwind of emotions.
Fear, devastation, excitement, anxiety, confusion, loneliness, and panic are all normal feelings to experience. Dealing with an unplanned pregnancy can be difficult depending on your career, relationship status, physical health, and a myriad of other factors.
Here are a few concrete steps you can take to cope with your unplanned pregnancy and make the right decision for yourself.
Sit with Your Emotions
Try not to invalidate your own feelings. Remember, no matter what your reaction to your pregnancy is, your emotions are normal and okay to experience.
We can’t help what feelings come over us in times of stress or shock. Give yourself time to process—don’t rush into making decisions until you feel comfortable doing so. You’re on your own time, and nobody can set that schedule for you.
Confide in Someone
Going through stress is easier when you’ve got a confidant. Telling someone about your unexpected pregnancy may ease your anxieties. Make sure this is a person you can fully trust, someone who can help you talk through future scenarios or just lend a listening ear.
For many, this trusted person is probably their partner, but it’s okay if you’re not ready to tell them yet. You might find more comfort from a parent, friend, or family member.
Weigh Your Options
You have three choices when considering your next steps for dealing with your pregnancy. You can:
Choose to become a parent: Depending on your age, career, lifestyle, and partnership, you’ll have a lot to consider. If you have a partner, you’ll need to let them in on the decision-making process.
Terminate the pregnancy: In the aftermath of the repeal of Roe v. Wade, adoption is a complicated issue in America. For many, it’s not a viable option anymore. If you live in a state where abortion is severely restricted or completely banned, your status as a pregnant person is even more precarious. There are still abortion care providers across the country in states where it’s accessible.
Consider adoption: You might feel prepared to go through a pregnancy but have no interest in raising a child. It’s a complicated legal process, so you should find an agency to work with.
As you sit with these options, try to visualize what each one might look like. How would you feel adjusting your life for a pregnancy and a child? What would your life be like?
Take Care of Your Health
Pregnancy is a time of enormous physical and hormonal changes. Even in the early stages, your body will need rest and nourishment. Focusing on your health can feel productive—it’s a concrete task you can work toward.
In a time of uncertainty like this, feeling some control in your life can ease your tension. Be sure to make an appointment with your primary care provider and your gynecologist if you’re planning to continue the pregnancy.
Find Unbiased Support
Don’t feel like you need to make this decision alone. If you’re in conflict with your partner or if you’re feeling stuck, consider counseling. A mental health professional can help you think critically about your options, navigate your complicated feelings, and get you to a more secure headspace.
Choosing to continue or end a pregnancy is a complicated personal, emotional, and, for some, moral dilemma. While a therapist won’t tell you which path to take, they can guide you through the decision-making process.
To find out more about how therapy can help you cope with an unplanned pregnancy, please reach out to us.
