How Insecurity Affects Your Relationship

We all have things we’re insecure about. Maybe it’s something about ourselves. We might dislike one of our physical traits or a part of our personality. Or maybe, we’re insecure about the people around us. We don’t understand why our partner hasn’t left us yet, and we’re dreading the moment they’ll finally leave.

We all have insecurities, but some of us are better at dealing with them than others. Is that the case for you?

It’s possible to live with your insecurities, but if your way of coping is to look to your partner for reassurance every time, you might be hurting your relationship.

Creates Imbalance

If you’re always looking to your partner when you feel insecure, you’re creating an imbalance within your relationship. You’re the one who needs reassurance, and they’re the one with the job to reassure you every time. Think about it. Do you ever do the same for your partner? Are you there for them when they need you? Or is it all one-sided?

A relationship is a partnership. A persistent imbalance within a relationship can create some bad dynamics. Yes, it’s true that we don’t always have the same needs. Some people naturally need more reassurance than others. There will be times in your life when you’ll need more reassurance and comfort than your partner. But this can also change with time. Some day, your partner will face many difficulties, and you’ll need to be there for them. An imbalance within the relationship won’t allow for that.

Risk of Dependency

Insecurity makes you rely on your partner a lot, maybe more than you should. Your partner becomes the most important part of your relationship and maybe even your life. They’re the first person you turn to whenever you need reassurance because they’re the only person who can provide that.

That means that if your partner is not available for whatever reason, you’ll be in trouble. If they’re not around to ease your insecurities, you won’t know what to do with yourself or stop those feelings because the only person who can help is not around. This can put your relationship under a lot of pressure, and it can create resentment between the two of you.

Leads to Arguments

Insecurity and a constant need for reassurance can take a toll on your relationship. Beyond pressure and resentment, it can lead to arguments and toxic behaviors. Jealousy may be a big factor behind that. You may find yourself jealous of your partner’s friends, maybe going through their phone to reassure yourself that they aren’t cheating.

All this does is fuel distrust between the two of you. It doesn’t make your relationship better. And it doesn’t actually make you feel more secure within your relationship, not permanently. It’s a temporary fix, and you’re jeopardizing your relationship with your partner every time you engage in that kind of behavior. It’s what really threatens your relationship.

Overcoming Insecurity

Your relationship isn’t doomed just because you’re insecure. After all, we all have our insecurities, and some of us are still in good, long-term relationships. But if you think your insecurities might end up harming your relationship in the long run, you might want to do something about them.

It’s okay if you’re not sure where to start. After all, if you did, you’d probably have done something about them a long time ago. But if you’re serious about facing your insecurities, not just for your relationship but for your own sake, too, then you might want to try counseling. You don’t have to live with the weight of your insecurities, and your relationship doesn’t have to suffer from them.

Reach out to learn more about couples counseling.