5 Ways to Help Your Partner with Depression
Watching your partner struggle with their mental health is heartbreaking, isolating, and even frustrating. You want to be able to help them, but you honestly don’t know where to start. You don’t want to say something that could make them feel worse. Or say anything that implies that it’s all in their head.
And you are dealing with your own stuff too. But that’s how relationships go. There’s a give-and-take balance that comes with the package deal of being in a relationship. Sometimes, your partner will need you to give more than you take. And other times, you will need them to give more when you need support. Depression and other mental health concerns will inevitably impact the quality of your relationship. Couples counseling can help your relationship weather this difficult season of life.
Millions of people throughout the world are suffering from depression each year. It’s one of the most common mental health concerns out there. Knowing how to get through depression, however, is a whole different ball game. If your partner suffers from depression, here are 5 ways to help them through it.
5 Ways To Help Your Partner With Depression
1. Recognize The Signs
Signs of depression are sometimes hard to spot. Most people believe that depression is only feeling excessively sad. While sadness is a huge sign of depression, it isn’t the only one. Other signs to watch out for are:
Changes in appetite (eating more or less than normal)
Changes in sleeping patterns (wanting to sleep more)
Loss of interest in hobbies or activities
Difficulty concentrating or seeming to be more “spacey” and zoned out
2. Listen To Them
As humans, we tend to want to speak more than listen. We want to give sound advice and comfort during someone’s time of need. While that is important, listening is also. But listening goes beyond what they are saying.
Someone with depression will often not want to talk about what they are going through out of shame, guilt, or feeling like they would be a burden if they do speak up. Listen to what they are not saying, too.
If it seems as if they want to say more but aren’t, you can gently press them. You can say something like, “If you need to talk about something, I’m here for you.”
3. Ask How You Can Help
Sometimes, a person suffering from depression wants to ask for help, but they don’t know how to. Or, they don’t want to be a burden and make someone feel as if they do need help. You can gently ask your partner if you can do anything to help them. They’ll appreciate that you are offering versus them feeling as if they are forcing you into it.
4. Don’t Use Meaningless Phrases
If your partner is suffering from depression, the last things they want to hear are phrases that can feel empty or undermine their experience.
“You shouldn’t feel depressed; you have so much going for you!”
“Just smile; you’ll feel better.”
Depression is not just flipped on or off like a switch. You can have everything going for you, a great job, a good family, great friends, and it can still hit you like a ton of bricks. Depression does not discriminate or only happens to certain types of people. It can happen to anyone.
Being careful with your words when talking to your partner can ensure that they don’t feel any worse or shut down even further from wanting to speak.
5. Encourage Them To Seek Professional Support
Depression is complex to get through. The impact it can have on people is profound. More often than not, depression is not something that is easily lifted on your own. Encourage your partner to seek help through depression treatment. As a therapist, I know how challenging this is and encourage you or them to reach out for help.
