What Are Infidelity Triggers and How Can You Start Overcoming Them?
One of the biggest obstacles that couples may face is infidelity.
Affairs, unfortunately, happen. This could happen for several reasons, none of which we will go over today. What we will talk about is how you can move on after an affair or after a partner has been unfaithful. We’re not here to question what happened, but to consider how to deal with the aftermath.
Infidelity can have an immense negative impact on a relationship. Whilst you try to rebuild trust and move on with your lives, you may find that you are triggered by certain things or that you struggle to get past what happened.
So, what are infidelity triggers, how can we be triggered, and how do we overcome these triggers?
What Are Infidelity Triggers?
When someone is triggered, they are re-experiencing traumatic or stressful events again in their mind. They may feel memories and feelings resurfacing, which may bring discomfort and unsettling emotions to the forefront.
Triggers related to infidelity are things that specifically remind you of the betrayal. This can sometimes seem to happen out of the blue, without warning. It could be caused by something small, like a smell or a being in a certain place.
How Can We Be Triggered?
As mentioned above, feeling triggered is when memories of past experiences or trauma resurface and stimulate an emotional response, despite what your present mood is or what you’re feeling currently. We associate these triggers with post-traumatic stress disorder, as they can make you relive the traumatic event.
Feeling triggered can be:
Feeling emotionally overwhelmed or vulnerable
Feeling a loss of control
Anger
Sadness
Anxiety
Physical pain
Nausea
Muscle tension
Shutting down emotionally
Physically aggressive
How Can You Overcome Infidelity Triggers?
Infidelity triggers are intrusive, so if you want to move on from the infidelity, you will need to work hard to overcome those triggers and banish them from your life and your relationship. Here’s how.
Understand Your Triggers
The first step in overcoming these triggers is to try to understand them. If you want to survive infidelity, then you will need to figure out what triggers you the most. It could be clothing, cars, a time, or place.
Ask Yourself Why You’re Triggered
Sometimes, a trigger is an internal thought. Most of the time, this is a defense mechanism. You don’t want to be hurt again, and when you are reminded of the pain, your body responds naturally. Try to figure out what it is that is truly bothering you, and it could be time to discuss this with your partner.
Remove Triggers
This is an essential step. Remove anything that triggers you or reminds you of what happens if possible. This could be material possessions, but sometimes it can be a friend or family member that reminds you of the event, or actively has a negative impact on your mental health.
Communicate with Your Partner
This is crucial. If you’re feeling nervous, anxious or insecure, it is paramount that you discuss this and why with your partner.
Speak to a Counselor
Ultimately, you may not be able to banish your infidelity triggers on your own. It is best to speak to a marriage counselor or therapist for help, guidance, and advice.
Infidelity triggers can feel debilitating. They can slow down your recovery and the rebuilding of your relationship. If you are struggling with infidelity in your marriage, then it is vital that you speak to a counselor for help, as they can provide you with the tools and techniques that you may need to modify your thinking and help you overcome your triggers. You can reach out to me today for relationship counseling focused on infidelity recovery.
