How to Offer Feedback in Your Relationship

You have likely heard how important communication is in a relationship by now. At some point, you have likely questioned if you and your partner are effectively communicating with one another. If you find that you are regularly arguing or in conflict with another, it may be a sign your communication needs improvement.

If you are facing issues in your relationship, you may be hesitant to talk to your partner about them. After all, you don’t want to hurt their feelings or cause any other arguments. However, learning how to talk to your partner about your relationship is vital for its health. Here are some tips to do just that.

How To Talk To Your Partner

The Right Timing

There’s a time and place for everything. That includes finding the most appropriate time to talk to your partner.

Whatever you need to discuss, you should do it when you both have ample time to sit down and talk with each other. You should try to avoid bringing something up if one of you is heading out or in the middle of doing something.

Choosing a time when you are both distraction-free, whether early in the morning or late at night when getting ready for bed, will help you focus your attention on each other and not other things.

Be sure to turn the television off and turn your phone off so you can focus on communicating.

Think Before You Speak

If you want to talk to your partner about something, try to devise a game plan beforehand of what you want to say. Thinking about what you want to say can help you remain respectful toward your partner and help you communicate clearly.

Before you talk about your relationship, it will be a good idea to wrap your head around your thoughts and emotions. How do you feel about a certain situation or something that was said? How were you hurt by these things? In what ways did this impact your day, week, or understanding of the relationship?

Actively Listen

You can hear what your partner is saying, but are you truly listening to them? When you are talking about your issues, be sure to also give them the floor and space to express their own needs and problems. Relationships should not be one-sided. And while your perspective is important, theirs is equally so.

You should both put in effort to really listen to the other person. In the end, this strengthens your connection and trust in one another. It shows that you care about their viewpoint, not just your own. You are a team, after all.

Don’t Place Blame

How we talk to our partners may seem harmless, but sometimes, what we say to each other may feel accusatory.

Tell your partner how you feel, which involves saying things like, “When XYZ happened, I felt as if…” instead of, “When XYZ happened, you made me feel as if…” Do you see the difference?

One places blame on your partner, while the other shifts the focus to how you felt in that situation. They are both saying the same thing, but one encourages honesty and open communication while the other shuts it down.

Try Counseling

Nobody likes to admit that they are struggling in life. We all like to believe that we can figure things out for ourselves. Sometimes, we can’t, and there’s nothing wrong with that.

Admitting that there are issues in a relationship doesn’t mean it is toxic or doomed to end. Instead, it is an admittance that you know there are things you could improve and are willing to do the work.

If you are interested in learning more about couples therapy, don’t hesitate to reach out to me for more information.