How to Fix a Sexless Marriage
When you lose the spark in your marriage, it can feel very disheartening. After all, you can remember clearly when you couldn’t keep your hands off each other. When at the end of the day, all you wanted to be was intimate with your partner.
But, somewhere along the way, that desire was lost. It’s surprising to hear, but this is pretty normal for most couples to go through in their relationship. Especially for those who have been together for a longer period of time. Still, that doesn’t make a lack of intimacy with your partner any easier to deal with.
Is it me? Are they no longer interested in me?
Is something more going on with them?
Will we ever get that spark back between us?
As frustrating as this new chapter may be, the great news is that fixing a sexless marriage is absolutely possible. Here are five tips to fix it.
5 Ways To Fix A Sexless Marriage
1. Start the conversation
Talking about sex is uncomfortable for a lot of people. However, you can’t fix something that isn’t being acknowledged. Silence, in this case, solves nothing.
It might not be easy to bring up, but your partner may also be feeling frustrated over the lack of intimacy in your marriage. But if you aren’t talking to each other about it, then there’s no way for you to know what the other person is feeling.
Check-in with each other. Don’t feel hesitant to bring up that you aren’t happy with the way things are in a gentle way. Ask if they have something going on that could be decreasing their desire and be open if you are being affected by something, too.
2. Show intimacy in other ways
Sex is an important component of most relationships. However, that doesn’t mean that it is the only way to be intimate with each other.
Intimacy can include talking, holding hands, or just sitting close to each other on the couch after a long day. Remember, that physical touch doesn’t always have to lead to going to the bedroom. Sometimes, just a quick hug or squeeze of the hand can be enough to feel close to one another.
If you feel as if you aren’t emotionally connected to one another, this could also affect your sexual intimacy. Checking in with each other’s emotions and talking about what’s going on can improve intimacy levels, as well.
3. Show your appreciation for one another
During the early days, you likely said, “thank you,” for all of the little things you did for one another. Taking out the garbage, cooking dinner, cleaning up in the house, etc. If you no longer do that, don’t worry, this is also normal for most couples.
As time goes on, it becomes pretty commonplace to no longer thank each other for these things. Why? It’s not because you don’t appreciate what you do for one another. Rather, it’s just because, over time, the assumption is that they know you are appreciative of what they do.
This is a wrong assumption to make. Be sure to always thank each other (not excessively of course) to show that you still notice these small things.
4. Try to spice things up
Most couples fall into the same routines in the bedroom. Which, after a while, can end up getting a little boring. Don’t be afraid to try new things or even just play teaser games to try and reignite the spark. Just be sure that what you are suggesting (or what they do) is comfortable for both parties.
5. Try Couples Counseling
There’s nothing wrong with admitting that the spark is gone in your relationship. Sometimes, this flame dulls out because there are deeper issues in the relationship that need to be worked on first. Don’t hesitate to reach out to learn more about couples counseling and how it can help you repair the bonds of your relationship as a whole.
