How Internal Family Systems (IFS) Strengthens Relationships
Relationships ebb and flow. Sometimes, everything may seem picture-perfect or too good to be true. Other times, you may even start to question if you’re good for one another.
This is normal in all types of relationships, especially when it comes to romantic and intimate relationships. You’re two people coming together to form one bond. You and your partner each have your own set of wants, needs, beliefs, ideas, passions, hobbies, and more. It makes sense that you’re not going to agree on everything in life.
You’re not alone if you and your partner struggle or bicker from time to time. But you don’t have to keep living in this endless cycle of disagreements and feeling misunderstood. This is where Internal Family Systems (IFS) comes in.
Let’s learn more about how Internal Family Systems can strengthen relationships.
What is Internal Family Systems (IFS)?
Internal Family Systems (IFS) is a form of therapy that helps individuals identify and start to accept the different parts or sub-personalities that make them into the person they are today. The idea behind this form of therapy is that a person holds different parts within themselves, and each has their own unique desires, feelings, and thoughts.
The main parts are known as managers, firefighters, and exiles. Managers are responsible for maintaining order and control. This part of oneself is responsible for things like planning and making decisions. Unlike trying to take a proactive approach as a manager does, firefighters instead react to stress and even try to numb or distract as a resolution. Last but not least, exiles are the part that holds onto all of the unresolved feelings, emotions, and even past traumas.
What IFS Looks Like
Incorporating IFS into couples therapy begins in a similar way as other forms of therapy. First, an assessment will be done in order for the therapist to gain more information about you and your partner. The assessment will review your history, any current challenges you may be experiencing, and your overall goals for therapy.
The therapy sessions will include a mix of individual and combined sessions with your partner. During the session, the therapist will work with each partner to identify the different parts they hold within themselves and in their relationship together.
The sessions will incorporate different exercises and techniques to help each person communicate, heal past wounds, and resolve conflicts more healthily and effectively.
Common Issues Addressed In IFS
There is a vast range of issues that can come up within a relationship. IFS is set up to cover and tackle these different areas. These are some of the most common issues addressed in IFS:
Challenges with co-parenting
Communication problems
Emotional distancing
Intimacy concerns
Trust issues
How to Incorporate IFS In Your Relationship
As you already know, communication is essential in any type of relationship. IFS works to help each partner develop healthier communication patterns in order to build upon that existing connection. These are some of the most important aspects of IFS and ways that you can get started on being more empathetic and understanding in your relationship:
Active listening
Being mindful of body language, facial expressions, and tone of voice
Thinking before speaking
Using “I” statements
Next Steps
The overall goal of IFS therapy is to strengthen the connection you share with your partner. IFS provides a safe and secure space for each partner to grow and heal individually and together. It’s time to regain control of your relationships and not let these issues consume it anymore. A therapist can help you and your partner build upon your existing bond to build a healthier and long-lasting relationship together. Reach out to us today to learn more and get started with IFS.
